Concerning Christianity

This journey of doubt is painful, to say the least. My heart is a mess of uncertainty, and the truth is I’m terrified. My heart desperately wants to believe, but I am not exactly sure what to believe anymore. What if Jesus is a fraud? What if the Bible is nothing more than a fairytale? What if my life has been spent chasing after something that doesn’t exist? Everything I am has been shaped by Christ; my identity so ingrained in Jesus that apart from Him I lose the essence of myself. I am lost without Him. I don’t want to let Him go. But, I don’t want to be a fool.

Where do I go from here?

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Testimony

“…So sick and tired of trying to make the pieces fit, cause it’s not what bearing witness is.” – David Bazan

“Being raised from the dead is never boring. Therefore every Christian has a stunning testimony.” – John Piper

Sealed. That’s the best way to describe the memory. Encased, unmovable, unchanging, locked.

It’s sealed in my mind.

The room was cool and bright as we walked in. Various brochures, diagrams and posters lined the shelves and walls outlining the stages of pregnancy, how to deal with morning sickness, you know, what to expect when and all that. A small black screen stacked on a cart sat just next to a small bed with anticipation. It was even equipped with it’s own wand, offering its own technological sort of magic. I saw a small printer underneath with a roll of white, glossy film.

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The End of Certainty

There was a point in my life I was certain; certain of my purpose, my future (eternally speaking), and my faith. I was sure God existed, the Bible was inerrant, and I was certain truth and salvation were found in Christianity alone.

That is, until my certainty began to fall apart. Continue readingThe End of Certainty